Time Will Be Kompressed

Krap. I had my dates wrong. Apparently this time is nowhere near the early phases of the mall! Akkording to my sources, this is the time in history when the mall was konstantly bombed. My store kould be in trouble. I will be intervening through my kommunication devices: Adel, Edea, and Rinoa to ensure we do not let in the wrong kustomers. I remember which kustomers were bad, so we should be invincible! 

I used a kouple of the sorceresses the other day, but both were at odd times. Once through Edea, which gave me a view of that fat Cid that I never wanted to see! The other was Rinoa, that gave me an odd perspektive on things. She was making something for that kursed SeeD, Squall! It was oatmeal. Oatmeal and a strange...pill. Not sure what happened of it, but she mixed it in and it...konfused me. Is he sikk?

This date should be korrect. If I am korrect, then this date is the first day NORG has created his pathetik mall. He has hired villains like myself to work as managers and we sell merchandise. In the future, where I live, the mall is destroyed. It is perfekt. I have only your journals to know what life is like in the dreadful "present." I have read them all. Some of you have terrible grammar. If only you were as kompetant as I.

I kurrently kontrol The Group Room. It sells seduktive clothing for women. I manage it through the sorceresses: Edea, Adel, and Rinoa. They all "volunteered" to work there. But that pathetik Cid. Edea's worthless husband. He has taken up a job somehow and watches over the store. I suppose he keeps the books up-to-date and is a generally decent manager, but he also works to keep my possession abilities in check. Kursed former headmaster!

I'm watching you all. Your feeble attempts to change the future will kontinue to amuse me. My intervention is the only way to change the future. I will kontinue to intervene when I finally obtain a Playstation 3. Until then, you will be hearing from me.

Cidolfus Orlandu: Beware. A chokobo will eat your laptop. Now that I have saved your laptop and the money it would kost to replace it, please leave a Playstation 3 in a time-kapsule, buried in the North Town Pub flower bed. Do so quickly.